i don't know why.. maybe its the rain. maybe its the weather.. but im feeling very very blue today. i dont know why, but i just feel so.. low. like, empty. and just very very down. received the xmas card he promised. i don't know. i thanked him but he didnt reply. maybe im really forgotten. oh well. might as well then. its just that, im disappointed? i dont know why. but why say things like "i'll be here for you" when you dont even reply my msn? there should be a law against people who fill greeting cards with "will be there for you" when they don't mean it. don't. don't ever do such a thing. because it really isn't nice. if you wanna fill a greeting card because you're obliged to, write stuff like wishing you a -insert super long descriptive words- year ahead. instead of offering to be there for you when they don't mean it. its like, writing a dishonored cheque. u promise to pay someone and the person happily brings that cheque to the bank and wanting to cash it only to be told it can't be converted to cash.
ohh fuckkkk. i feel fucking fucking fucking shitty. very black. very very moody. why?
i feel that perhaps, this is it for us. we've come to a point where he forgets who i am and feels disgusted talking to me. and me, on the other hand, still bears this tiny weeny hope he'll fulfil his words. blah. but who am i kidding? im just so naive.
and my eyes are so small. they seem to have shrunk. my face seem to have expanded. so have my waistline. ohfuck. omgggggg. fucking low self esteem. fucking shit. fuckkkk.
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