Ever since i got attached, everyday i wake up with my mind just so preoccupied with him that sometimes, im afraid i'd lose track of life. so, i try to keep in touch as much as possible with my friends, or at least those i care enough to contact. but i wonder, if i have changed? is it still the same? maybe i am oversensitive but i can feel change. i see changes in the friendships i have and i wonder, did the change start from me? from the other party? or both of us? but apart from an increase in the frequency he swims through my head, i still feel the same me. but am i really still the same? i really don't want to abandon my friends just because i have a boyfriend now. thats not who i am. and definitely not someone i want to be when i was single. my friends - they have been with me for all these years, through thick and thin and i will never forget these moments that we have gone through. so my friends, if u really do notice a change in me, please tell me. cus as they say, your friends are the mirrors of your personality. sometimes i wonder if i don't try, will it be better? because sometimes, when i try and all i get is nothing.. it gets disheartening and i feel too frustrated trying to try. but i really cannot afford to lose any friendships at all. they're all too precious. yeah. maybe im just being oversensitive. i don't know.. sigh.
very very tired these days. actually, this feeling of being afraid to lose the things around you can tie one down. im terribly afraid that i might lose things if i dont follow the rules properly and whatnot. sigh. i feel vulnerable actually. hmm.. i don't really know. im not planning very far for my life. just gonna take one step at a time. yeah.
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