today is saturday. I felt sooo lethargic today. all i wanna do is just roll around in bed and do nothing. I attempted to study pbf but i just couldn't sit still. Okay, tomorrow onwards, time to start mugging already la. Just met up with reggie veggie. dressed up like mad today, though we only sat by singapore river and drink beer/chat. We smoked. Just 1 ciggie. Cus after chantel lent us a few puffs the other time, we resoluted to smoke a stick to ourselves and she managed to get 2 sticks for the both of us. hmmm.. Its okay la. Not say high leh. But just fuucking love the bad girl image we potrayed sia. Somemore drinking beer with the ciggie in hand. It was rather choking at first. But okay. Nice feeling though, the chills going down the spine. i am not craving for another for the.. High feeling it gives. I feel.. Its on par w alcohol. But mmmm, the image.. its so.. Rebellious! Lol! Well.. To de-stress anyway.
Anyway, we were talking about one of her friends who was dumped by her bf. and how devastated the girl was. And as reggie told me the stuff she told her, i can fucking fucking understand the pain. Every single thing you do, reminds you of him. The places you've been. Like, thinking of how the hands thhat used to hug you now hugs another girl. listening to the story, i can remember the pain he caused. I can still remember all the nights spent crying. All the loserish feelings i felt when i gave in and msged him/ fb-ed him. And all the emo tweets i posted. i can fucking understand just that .. Hers is probably triple, four times as worse since she was with him for 6 months. All the promises and all the love and all that you're willing to give up.. All gone. With the wind. As though none of that had happened. It sucks. I feel v v v sorry for her. And me and reggie concluded that .. Its really scary. I want to love and be loved. Really. But im increasingly scared. I'd rather.. Have no strings attached. so at least, no expectations involved. Less disappointment. But yeah.. Me and reggie, we knew how it feels. Love hurts. Sigh! Hurrah to singletondom! Woooo!
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