i am down with sore throat and am a bit feverish today. supposed to be out studying the sjsj. sigh! cus there's supposed to be a talk on the summer school programme but im seriously too sick to go this morning. my throat hurts like mad. yesterday, i kept spamming new year goodies. i just couldn't stop it eh. cus my mum bought this bottle of deep fried crabsticks and this bottle of deep fried popiah skin coated in icing sugar, yesterday i just put one in my mouth.. then it became 10 more.. and then i just couldn't stop reaching inside. lol! i also think its because i was v fatigue on monday. and also, the korea bbq on tues. and also, i ate mandarin orange (yup, its heaty). and the final straw was probably yesterday's hotdog bread spammed with chilli sauce. sigh! i wanna go for the talk leh. i think will go next week. but it'll mean i have ta skip an hour of lessons though. well.. i need to just see what the details are. otherwise, my entire year really have nothing much to anticipate to. well, yesterday was an alright day. nothing fantastic happened. recently, i've been sleeping alot. 12 hours that kind of length. its madness. and i havent been jogging since tues.
i wanna be pretty. im starting to play this game called "the it girl" on facebook. its super bimbotic. but its the reason why people play online games. to make themselves feel better by compensating what they don't get in real life. in "the it girl", im curvy (curves at the right place), i party to earn money, the clothes all look good and i get a boyfriend and i treat him as an accessory. basically he's there so that i complete a quest. if only i could be this heartless in real life. i've had enough of being ditched by guys i truly liked. perhaps, its time to turn the tables? i caved in and finally checked his fb. well, i didn't see in detail, but he deleted his folder "photographic memories" which our photo was in. i feel so silly that i still even care about these details. i went back to that site i met him. well, his message was the top in my inbox in that site. heart wrenched a little as i deleted it away. no news from him. never hear from him. no msn. no sms. no calls. hmm. i guess, it really really is OVER! cus actually, at this point, where im sick and tired and feeling lifeless.. i wished i had someone i could call. or a shoulder to lean on. or someone i could drink beer with. i just suddenly miss having someone around ba. i sound like some lonely old woman who lives with her cats. but then, maybe these women who are labelled "old maid" have been through far too much heartbreaks that they'd rather be lonely and craving for a man than to have a man. in fact, perhaps, all they really need is to be sexually satisfied. as for me, im not horny a lot. haiz. fuck him .. fuck him to the max la.
well, tomorrow is gonna be a home alone day for me. tomorrow my parents and bro are going on a cruise again. was supposed to go clubbing with reggie but cancelled last minute. well, anyway, i've been rather sian of clubbing also. i mean, i don't feel that its that fantastic anymore. maybe i have been with the wrong crowd all these while after reggie. so anyway, tomorrow shall be a "me day". i want to do alot of things tomorrow.
Plans for tomorrow:
1(a). if possible, wake up early to go jogging
1. go to school at 11am to pass adrian tang my essay.
2. go grocery shopping cus i'll be cooking lunch and dinner for self. i don't wanna survive on instant noodles alone. shall look for recipes online..
3. come home and make lunch
4. do nails and also, wax legs. i dont wanna do it today, well .. cus i'm only going out on sat.. so abit wasted uh.
5. do some studying.
6. pack up my wardrobe.
7. clean up my room. v v dusty. also, vacuum the rug.
8. mug somemore.
9. cook dinner
10. watch audrey hepburn movies till late.
11. do facial mask
12. sleep..
well done. a "me" day! awesome. ohmyfuckingcheebye. i miss ben a lot now. -rolls around- fuck it.
well yesterday, cus i really snacked a lot. my tummy got fucking cheebye obious lor. wanted to wear my usual spag top with jeans combi to school. but instead, tummy got v obvious and i just wore a loose tee and jeans. i wanted to wear slippers but i felt v sloppy. so wore sneakers. then i felt so manly. lol. like if i saw ben, i'd just tell him, "don't you mess with me, you fucking pussy" then punch my fist into my other hand. lol! but well.. still fat nonetheless. i guess this sorethroat is a blessing in disguise! maybe can be skinnier when cny comes. also, i was looking through the photos i developed and i realised, my face is rounder. siannnn.
well, anyways, i am done with ben already. i wasn't inclined to see his fb until today since i am BORED at home. ok. i am doing okay la. just too bored. and sick. and fuck pms. he can go fuck around other girls' cheebyes. just not mine. i don't give a damn already la. he can get new girls all he likes. gahhhhhh! i'd rather fuck a coconut tree than him anyway. so, yeah. good riddance. but i don't know what's stopping me from deleting him off fb and msn... im such a pussy. gahhhh.
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